March, 2014

B,

You're staying with Grandma tonight and I'm missing you. It's so weird to not have you around. To not hear your laugh or put you to bed. I can't believe how much my life has changed in the last two years. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

They say that two year olds go through the terrible twos, but honestly you are an easy going kid. You are so funny and smart. I really can't believe how smart you are - you must get it from your dad - but your language skills are exceptional. You can carry on a whole conversation and repeat almost any word. And you are so curious - you must get that from me - but you always want to know how things work and why they work.

But the best hing about you - and my soft spot - is your laugh. I wish I could bottle your laugh. Especially when you start snorting. It's such a carefree thing and every time I hear it I smile. You laugh a lot and I am so grateful for that.

A friend of mine recently lost her son. He was 19 and in a car accident that left him brain dead. All I could think about is what if that was you? What if something were to happen to you? and honestly - I'm not sure I would be able to go on. I look at you and I see my future. I see my teenage son bringing home his girlfriend for prom, graduations, weddings, and grandkids. I can't imagine what she's going through - but I can tell you this - it makes me hug you just a little tighter.

Sometimes when I look at you I get so full of love that I think I may bust. There is nothing like it. It may come from hearing you say "mommy" or from a smile, or a kiss, or a hug or just a moment where you are so YOU and I almost can't breathe with the amount of love that overcomes me.

I know that every age will have it's challenge, but you bug are the best thing I could ever do, and please know that I love you (to the moon and back).

Love you always,

Mommy