38 weeks

So tomorrow I will be 38 weeks.

I haven't had a cervical check yet, but I have lost my plug (for those that know what that is great, for those that don't you probably don't want to know). The good thing is that means that supposedly there is some progress going on down there. I haven't had any Braxton Hicks contractions that I can really tell, and no real contractions at all. Plus everytime I think he's dropped, the bobs back to right under my ribs (and it's always his butt). However, there is immense pressure in my lower abdomen, back pain that sometimes makes me want to do nothing but lie down, and a generally crampiness that varies from dull to really strong. All this to say as much as I am ready for him, it seems to me like he's going to stay put for a little while longer.

This last week has been really tough for me. I think it is a combination of now being full term and knowing that if he wanted to come now all would be ok and everyone else I know having babies! I am so excited for them, but it makes me so anxious for mine. I'm really ready to start our life with our son. I want to hold him and love on him so bad I can taste it. That coupled with the back/hip pain, cramps, insomnia and anxiety is making me incredibly impatient. To combat the impatience I thought I would write a list of the things I would actually MISS about being pregnant... then maybe I can focus on enjoying my last few weeks of those things.

1) Feeling him move all.the.time. I love the flips, wiggles, kicks, and flutters I still feel on a daily basis. It's reassurance that he is ok. I'll miss feeling him all the time.
2) Being able to eat what I want, when I want it, with no one looking at me like I'm crazy. Three desserts today... no problem because I'm pregnant. Three desserts today when not pregnant = people thinking your nuts.
3) People always giving your their seat because you are pregnant and no one wants to be the one that makes the pregnant chick stand.
4) Not having to tote the laundry up and down the stairs.
5) The whoosh whoosh sound of his heartbeat that I get to hear at every appointment.
6) My bump (even as little as it is) and knowing I'm GROWING something inside of it.
7) The anticipation of something really exciting about to happen.
8) The excuse for being lazy/not feeling like cleaning/etc.
9) Watching my belly move from side to side to side.
10) Alone time and alone time with my husband.

So.. I'm going to TRY and focus on these things in the coming week. As the saying goes...

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change..."