So.. in the last few weeks I have learned quite a bit. I thought I would share my nuggets of advice with other first time moms (if any read this) and if not at least record it so I remember when we have our second little one. If anyone has anything to add feel free to comment. Here is my advice:
1) When you are in the hospital have a nurse (or ideally a lactation consultant) with you the FIRST time you breastfeed your child. This will prevent you from going multiple days with your child not latching all the way on and from killing your nipples.
2) If you kill your nipples then lanolin is the way to go for healing them. Also, don't stop breastfeeding just because they are sore. For me, it lasted about a week and a half and then got mircalously better (it helped the little man learned to latch).
3) Sleep while you can in the hospital and use the nurses. They are there to help! Even if you room in you can have them look after him at night and bring him to you for feedings. I didn't have a rooming in option since Brantley was a Special Care Nursery baby, but I can tell you that sleeping in between feedings saved me. Plus - the nurses at DRH are amazing (can't attest for other hospitals).
4) Don't overpack your hospital bag. All you really need are clothes for going home and comfy pjs if you don't want to wear a hosital gown. Oh - and fuzzy socks, slippers, and chapstick. If you're nursing I recommend going to Walmart and getting a few cheap nursing tanks. They are great for the hospital and comfy at home too.
5) Take all the stuff from your hospital room that they will let you. IF you have to have a c-section make sure you take as many of the knit panties as you can! You'll find when you get home that all your undies hit right on the incesion site - the mesh panties don't and are extememly comfortable. The same with pads, ice packs, etc. You really don't need your babies diaper bag at the hospital - they supply everything. All you need to bring is his going home outfit.
6) Don't expect that first night home to be easy. Also don't expect your baby to be the same at home as in the hospital. In the hospital Brantley slept in the little bin thing and only woke up to eat, once we got him home he screamed all night the first night and we couldn't figure out why. I was a blubbering idiot the next morning and seriously was questioning my parenting skills. The truth is - you have to figure each other out. For us it was figuring out that he hates sleeping in anything where he isn't confined somewhat (so both the pack and play and crib were out), and that he wakes himself us repeatedly at night with his crazy arm movements. However, the first night we didn't know these things. The best advice - hang in there - it WILL get better.
7) Let your child sleep wherever he will sleep... the bouncer chair, the crib, the swing, the carseat, whatever it is. The most important thing is that he - and you - sleep.
8) My MUST HAVES for life with baby are as follows:
Bouncer seat
Swing
Swaddle Me blankets (oh how I love thee - Brantley has to be in full swaddle to really sleep well) Lanloin Cream
Nursing bras/tanks
9) Tip for those that are going to pump - take a sports bra (I used my oldest one) and cut small slits over the nipples. This way you can put the flanges for the pump under the sports bra and can hands free pump. Otherwise you have to hold the flanges on - and that can get annoying. Also if you hand massage your breast while you pump you'll get more milk.
10) Most babies lose weight at first. Don't let the doctor scare you if he's lost weight and it takes awhile to gain back. Brantley went from 7lbs 4oz to 6lbs 14oz. He stayed at 6lbs 14oz for two days and they were worried he wasn't gaining - but my milk hadn't come in yet. Once it did he turned into a chunky monkey and gained 7oz in 3 days. Also, babies in NICU can lose faster because most were receiving glucose water via IV - once that is stopped they generally lose. Doctors have a tendacy to scare you - don't let them.
11) Once your milk comes in your boobs will be biggers and heavier. Wearing a bra (no underwire - again I recommend Walmart) 24/7 will actually help and they will feel much better.
12) Trust your instincts. This is YOUR child. Lots of people will give you advice on how to raise him, or what to do and not to do, take it all with a grain of salt and then do what you choose. In the end you are the one that has to make the decisions and you're the one spending the time with him, so it's much more likely that you know what he needs then your aunt/friend/mother/stranger/co-worker.
13) Take lots of pictures. They grow fast (even little man is so different at almost 3 weeks!)
and lastly, 14) ENJOY your time with them. There will be moments that are so frusterating. There will be moments you want to cry. There will be moments you question if you can do this. But then he'll smile, or give you a funny face, or simply just be, and you'll look at him and your heart will swell with a love you didn't know was possible. It's unreal how much you'll want to protect this little one from everything. So enjoy the little days and give lots and lots of hugs, kisses and cuddles.
2 1/2 weeks
I can't beleive my little man is almost 3 weeks old. It feels like it's going by so quickly - and he's changing so much - but at the same time it's hard to remember what life was like without him.
Our first night home was a diaster. No one really prepares you for that first night. In the hospital my baby was perfect. He slept for 3 hours and then they woke him up for me to feed him. I hardly heard him cry and right after (sometimes in the middle) feeding him he'd drift back to sleep and I'd hand him to the nurses and go back to sleep myself. What no one told me was the my child was putting on a show for mommy! When we got home we tried to put him in the pack and play - and he cried and cried. I changed him. I fed him. We tried the crib.... and he still cried. The only way he wouldn't cry is if daddy or I were holding him. And so we took turns, but neither one of us got sleep. The next morning I was a crying mess in the kitchen, a crying mess in the car on the way to the doctor, a crying mess calling our childbirth class coach about breastfeeding (I wasn't sure he was latching right) and in general just a crying mess. Daddy was also at his wits end. No one prepares you for this was all I could think.
Fast forward two weeks. Now that we've been home for awhile we've learned several things about baby. First and foremost is that he sleeps best in the swing or bouncy seat (THANK GOD we figured that out!) and has to be swaddled to really get a good sleep. We've learned when he's hungry, wet, or tired. This has made mommies life so. much. easier. Really we have a great baby - even when he projectile (yes projectile!) poops all on the changing table and while mommy is trying to handle that (along with the poop that got on her because the projectile poop started while I was putting diaper cream on) then we start peeing. At some point you just have to laugh. Poop and pee definitely don't bother me much anymore.
Despite the hard bits my life in infinitely better with him in it. He makes me smile, laugh and cry about 15 times a day. When I look at him I know what love is. He and his daddy are my heart. And now - for a few pictures.
Our first night home was a diaster. No one really prepares you for that first night. In the hospital my baby was perfect. He slept for 3 hours and then they woke him up for me to feed him. I hardly heard him cry and right after (sometimes in the middle) feeding him he'd drift back to sleep and I'd hand him to the nurses and go back to sleep myself. What no one told me was the my child was putting on a show for mommy! When we got home we tried to put him in the pack and play - and he cried and cried. I changed him. I fed him. We tried the crib.... and he still cried. The only way he wouldn't cry is if daddy or I were holding him. And so we took turns, but neither one of us got sleep. The next morning I was a crying mess in the kitchen, a crying mess in the car on the way to the doctor, a crying mess calling our childbirth class coach about breastfeeding (I wasn't sure he was latching right) and in general just a crying mess. Daddy was also at his wits end. No one prepares you for this was all I could think.
Fast forward two weeks. Now that we've been home for awhile we've learned several things about baby. First and foremost is that he sleeps best in the swing or bouncy seat (THANK GOD we figured that out!) and has to be swaddled to really get a good sleep. We've learned when he's hungry, wet, or tired. This has made mommies life so. much. easier. Really we have a great baby - even when he projectile (yes projectile!) poops all on the changing table and while mommy is trying to handle that (along with the poop that got on her because the projectile poop started while I was putting diaper cream on) then we start peeing. At some point you just have to laugh. Poop and pee definitely don't bother me much anymore.
Despite the hard bits my life in infinitely better with him in it. He makes me smile, laugh and cry about 15 times a day. When I look at him I know what love is. He and his daddy are my heart. And now - for a few pictures.
My Birth Story
This is not necessarily the story I thought I would write, but it's an important one nonetheless.
I went into labor on Friday morning at about 4:30am.
I woke up with what felt like menstral cramps, but they would get very intense about every 6-8 minutes. At first, I wasn't sure it was labor. I'd had my membranes stripped the day before and had some cramping so I wasn't sure if this was part of that or the real deal. At 8:30 I called the doctors office and they told me to come in and get checked. We got there at about 9am and found out I was indeed in labor (2-3cm, 100% effaced). They told me to go walk until the contractions were so intense that I couldn't handle it, so we headed to the mall.
About 1:30 we headed to the hospital. At this point my contractions were closer together (3-4 minutes) and much more painful. We go checked in and they checked me - no change. So, they told us to walk around the hospital. We did that for a few hours. At about 6:30 when they checked me again there was no change. They recommended I go home and labor there for awhile (so that I could eat and be more comfortable) and then come back when I couldn't stand it. So...we left, went to Kerr Drug and filled my precriptions (Ambien and Tylenol), went by Bojangles and then went home. I took the Ambien and Tylenol and laid down and tried to sleep. Neigher of the drugs worked - but the breathing techniques did (Thanks Jackie!). At about 1:30 am the pain was bad enough I started to throw up so we went back to the hospital.
Unforutantely, a lot of what I experienced was also back labor, so even when the contractions were gone my back was in some pretty intense pain. Once we got there they checked me and I had progressed to 4cm. They gave me Stadaol to help me with the pain/sleep and I was able to sleep through the contractions for a few hours (however that stuff made me SO loopy!) At about 8 am they checked me and I had progressed to 5cm so they broke my water to help speed things up. I got my epidural at about 10:30am. They came back and checked me sometime later and I hadn't progressed at all so they decided to start pitocin to ramp up the contractions. They talked about a possible c-section if pitocin didn't work. They came back shortly and said that the pitocin had made the babies heart rate drop to 70 (which is low) so they were going to stop it. By this time I had progressed to 6cm and was running a little fever. I continued to labor, with no progression. We tried pitcocin one more time - with intense monitoring, but I still didn't get past 7cm. His heartrate was also all over the place, going high and then low, and I was still running a fever. The doctor came back and we again discussed c-section vs. continuing to labor. Because of his heartbeat, and my fever, and the fact it had been almost 40 hours of labor at this point, we decided to have a c-section.
The c-section was performed and he was born at 8:45pm on Saturday, October 29th. As soon as he was out they had to take him to the Special Care Nursery because of my fever and his heartrate issues. They wanted to make sure I didn't have an infection that was passed on to him. He spent 3 days in the Special Care Nursery. The first two were for IV antiobotics. The last was primarily due to blood sugar issues (it wasn't as high as they wanted - as a result I had/have to supplement with formula until my milk supply is enough for him).
The last part of the story is a little difficult. My grandmother had been very ill the last month or so. She was so excited about meeting and seeing her great-grandson. Unfortunatly, she didn't get to meet him, but was able to see pictures of him right after he was born. Mom said she had a big smile on her face, and knew she was a great-grandma again. I found out at 1:20 on Tuesday that she had passed away. We took him home that night at 6:30pm. I am so grateful she had a chance to see the pictures. All this to say this was not the way I thought that Brantley would get here, but in the end it doesn't matter, because he is now here, home with us, and changing our world with every silly face, cry, and diaper change. This is one very loved kid.
I'll write more later about the first night (oh man I was not prepared at all for that!) and how we're goin now. Until then... enjoy some pictures.
I went into labor on Friday morning at about 4:30am.
I woke up with what felt like menstral cramps, but they would get very intense about every 6-8 minutes. At first, I wasn't sure it was labor. I'd had my membranes stripped the day before and had some cramping so I wasn't sure if this was part of that or the real deal. At 8:30 I called the doctors office and they told me to come in and get checked. We got there at about 9am and found out I was indeed in labor (2-3cm, 100% effaced). They told me to go walk until the contractions were so intense that I couldn't handle it, so we headed to the mall.
About 1:30 we headed to the hospital. At this point my contractions were closer together (3-4 minutes) and much more painful. We go checked in and they checked me - no change. So, they told us to walk around the hospital. We did that for a few hours. At about 6:30 when they checked me again there was no change. They recommended I go home and labor there for awhile (so that I could eat and be more comfortable) and then come back when I couldn't stand it. So...we left, went to Kerr Drug and filled my precriptions (Ambien and Tylenol), went by Bojangles and then went home. I took the Ambien and Tylenol and laid down and tried to sleep. Neigher of the drugs worked - but the breathing techniques did (Thanks Jackie!). At about 1:30 am the pain was bad enough I started to throw up so we went back to the hospital.
Unforutantely, a lot of what I experienced was also back labor, so even when the contractions were gone my back was in some pretty intense pain. Once we got there they checked me and I had progressed to 4cm. They gave me Stadaol to help me with the pain/sleep and I was able to sleep through the contractions for a few hours (however that stuff made me SO loopy!) At about 8 am they checked me and I had progressed to 5cm so they broke my water to help speed things up. I got my epidural at about 10:30am. They came back and checked me sometime later and I hadn't progressed at all so they decided to start pitocin to ramp up the contractions. They talked about a possible c-section if pitocin didn't work. They came back shortly and said that the pitocin had made the babies heart rate drop to 70 (which is low) so they were going to stop it. By this time I had progressed to 6cm and was running a little fever. I continued to labor, with no progression. We tried pitcocin one more time - with intense monitoring, but I still didn't get past 7cm. His heartrate was also all over the place, going high and then low, and I was still running a fever. The doctor came back and we again discussed c-section vs. continuing to labor. Because of his heartbeat, and my fever, and the fact it had been almost 40 hours of labor at this point, we decided to have a c-section.
The c-section was performed and he was born at 8:45pm on Saturday, October 29th. As soon as he was out they had to take him to the Special Care Nursery because of my fever and his heartrate issues. They wanted to make sure I didn't have an infection that was passed on to him. He spent 3 days in the Special Care Nursery. The first two were for IV antiobotics. The last was primarily due to blood sugar issues (it wasn't as high as they wanted - as a result I had/have to supplement with formula until my milk supply is enough for him).
The last part of the story is a little difficult. My grandmother had been very ill the last month or so. She was so excited about meeting and seeing her great-grandson. Unfortunatly, she didn't get to meet him, but was able to see pictures of him right after he was born. Mom said she had a big smile on her face, and knew she was a great-grandma again. I found out at 1:20 on Tuesday that she had passed away. We took him home that night at 6:30pm. I am so grateful she had a chance to see the pictures. All this to say this was not the way I thought that Brantley would get here, but in the end it doesn't matter, because he is now here, home with us, and changing our world with every silly face, cry, and diaper change. This is one very loved kid.
I'll write more later about the first night (oh man I was not prepared at all for that!) and how we're goin now. Until then... enjoy some pictures.
