6 weeks

I can't beleive I missed posting about little B's one month stats. I actually wrote the post twice and both times had comptuer problems that erased it. The last 6 weeks with this guy have been amazing. I love being a mom. It's the most important, fun, tough, rewarding job I have ever had. I definitely have had to learn patience and perserverence in the last month. Brantley is a great baby most of the time. He does have his periods of fussiness, which is normal, but we're getting better at determining why he's having them. He's growing so fast. I can't beleive how much he's changing. At 4 weeks he was 21.5 inches long and 8lbs 13.5 ounces. He has a large head at 15 cm. some of the changes I've seen in the last few weeks include:

1) rolling over! He does this almost daily now from his tummy to his back. Im not sure if it's intentional or a result of his head being so large that when he brings it to one side it makes him topple over, but I'm taking it.

2) He's smiling all the time now. He went from HATING diaper changes to smiling at me religously on the changing table. He is also trying to find his voice. He's making noises now besides just crying - which is amazing.

3) He is following things with his eyes, and definitely looks at me. If he hears my voice he's actively trying to find where it is coming from.

4) He's found his hands. Cutest thing is when he sees it out of the corner of his eye, then brings it into his vision and looks at it like "what is this".

5) He's holding his head up amazingly well. He can do a mini pushup and hold it. My strong little boy.

I know there's more but these are the things I can think of. There have been so many favorite memories from this past 6 weeks. There are several I don't want to ever forget.

The first time I saw him is of course one of these, and better yet the first time I saw him after he was taken from me. He had to go to the special care nursery so I saw him briefly after his birth but didn't get to hold him until the next morning. The first time I held him was amazing. Something I don't ever want to forget.

I don't want to forget the night I asked daddy to put him to bed. I woke up at 1am and Brantley and P both weren't in the bedroom. I went out to the living room and daddy had Brantley on his chest and they were both sound asleep - with the exact same look on their face. Moments like that make all the crying, fussiness and diaper changes worth it.

I don't want to forget the 3am nursing sessions. It's so peaceful then, and even if he's had a fussy day he is so quiet in the middle of the night feedings. He'll look at me and smile, nurse and go right back to sleep. It's just the two of us and I love it. After he nurses he does this thing where he arches his back, stretches his arms above his head and wrinkles his forehead. It's almost like he's just ate a HUGE meal and needs to stretch. I love it. He's so cute when he does this I want to just kiss him. Which I do.

I don't want to forget his cheeks! Sounds so silly but they are so adorably chubby. I love them.


We are so blessed to have this little guy in our lives. I am excited (and a bit sad - one day he won't let me cuddle him anymore) to see him continue to grow.

Advice to a FTM from a FTM (First time Mom)

So.. in the last few weeks I have learned quite a bit. I thought I would share my nuggets of advice with other first time moms (if any read this) and if not at least record it so I remember when we have our second little one. If anyone has anything to add feel free to comment. Here is my advice:

1) When you are in the hospital have a nurse (or ideally a lactation consultant) with you the FIRST time you breastfeed your child. This will prevent you from going multiple days with your child not latching all the way on and from killing your nipples.

2) If you kill your nipples then lanolin is the way to go for healing them. Also, don't stop breastfeeding just because they are sore. For me, it lasted about a week and a half and then got mircalously better (it helped the little man learned to latch).

3) Sleep while you can in the hospital and use the nurses. They are there to help! Even if you room in you can have them look after him at night and bring him to you for feedings. I didn't have a rooming in option since Brantley was a Special Care Nursery baby, but I can tell you that sleeping in between feedings saved me. Plus - the nurses at DRH are amazing (can't attest for other hospitals).

4) Don't overpack your hospital bag. All you really need are clothes for going home and comfy pjs if you don't want to wear a hosital gown. Oh - and fuzzy socks, slippers, and chapstick. If you're nursing I recommend going to Walmart and getting a few cheap nursing tanks. They are great for the hospital and comfy at home too.

5) Take all the stuff from your hospital room that they will let you. IF you have to have a c-section make sure you take as many of the knit panties as you can! You'll find when you get home that all your undies hit right on the incesion site - the mesh panties don't and are extememly comfortable. The same with pads, ice packs, etc. You really don't need your babies diaper bag at the hospital - they supply everything. All you need to bring is his going home outfit.

6) Don't expect that first night home to be easy. Also don't expect your baby to be the same at home as in the hospital. In the hospital Brantley slept in the little bin thing and only woke up to eat, once we got him home he screamed all night the first night and we couldn't figure out why. I was a blubbering idiot the next morning and seriously was questioning my parenting skills. The truth is - you have to figure each other out. For us it was figuring out that he hates sleeping in anything where he isn't confined somewhat (so both the pack and play and crib were out), and that he wakes himself us repeatedly at night with his crazy arm movements. However, the first night we didn't know these things. The best advice - hang in there - it WILL get better.

7) Let your child sleep wherever he will sleep... the bouncer chair, the crib, the swing, the carseat, whatever it is. The most important thing is that he - and you - sleep.

8) My MUST HAVES for life with baby are as follows:

Bouncer seat
Swing
Swaddle Me blankets (oh how I love thee - Brantley has to be in full swaddle to really sleep well) Lanloin Cream
Nursing bras/tanks

9) Tip for those that are going to pump - take a sports bra (I used my oldest one) and cut small slits over the nipples. This way you can put the flanges for the pump under the sports bra and can hands free pump. Otherwise you have to hold the flanges on - and that can get annoying. Also if you hand massage your breast while you pump you'll get more milk.

10) Most babies lose weight at first. Don't let the doctor scare you if he's lost weight and it takes awhile to gain back. Brantley went from 7lbs 4oz to 6lbs 14oz. He stayed at 6lbs 14oz for two days and they were worried he wasn't gaining - but my milk hadn't come in yet. Once it did he turned into a chunky monkey and gained 7oz in 3 days. Also, babies in NICU can lose faster because most were receiving glucose water via IV - once that is stopped they generally lose. Doctors have a tendacy to scare you - don't let them.

11) Once your milk comes in your boobs will be biggers and heavier. Wearing a bra (no underwire - again I recommend Walmart) 24/7 will actually help and they will feel much better.

12) Trust your instincts. This is YOUR child. Lots of people will give you advice on how to raise him, or what to do and not to do, take it all with a grain of salt and then do what you choose. In the end you are the one that has to make the decisions and you're the one spending the time with him, so it's much more likely that you know what he needs then your aunt/friend/mother/stranger/co-worker.

13) Take lots of pictures. They grow fast (even little man is so different at almost 3 weeks!)

and lastly, 14) ENJOY your time with them. There will be moments that are so frusterating. There will be moments you want to cry. There will be moments you question if you can do this. But then he'll smile, or give you a funny face, or simply just be, and you'll look at him and your heart will swell with a love you didn't know was possible. It's unreal how much you'll want to protect this little one from everything. So enjoy the little days and give lots and lots of hugs, kisses and cuddles.

2 1/2 weeks

I can't beleive my little man is almost 3 weeks old. It feels like it's going by so quickly - and he's changing so much - but at the same time it's hard to remember what life was like without him.

Our first night home was a diaster. No one really prepares you for that first night. In the hospital my baby was perfect. He slept for 3 hours and then they woke him up for me to feed him. I hardly heard him cry and right after (sometimes in the middle) feeding him he'd drift back to sleep and I'd hand him to the nurses and go back to sleep myself. What no one told me was the my child was putting on a show for mommy! When we got home we tried to put him in the pack and play - and he cried and cried. I changed him. I fed him. We tried the crib.... and he still cried. The only way he wouldn't cry is if daddy or I were holding him. And so we took turns, but neither one of us got sleep. The next morning I was a crying mess in the kitchen, a crying mess in the car on the way to the doctor, a crying mess calling our childbirth class coach about breastfeeding (I wasn't sure he was latching right) and in general just a crying mess. Daddy was also at his wits end. No one prepares you for this was all I could think.


Fast forward two weeks. Now that we've been home for awhile we've learned several things about baby. First and foremost is that he sleeps best in the swing or bouncy seat (THANK GOD we figured that out!) and has to be swaddled to really get a good sleep. We've learned when he's hungry, wet, or tired. This has made mommies life so. much. easier. Really we have a great baby - even when he projectile (yes projectile!) poops all on the changing table and while mommy is trying to handle that (along with the poop that got on her because the projectile poop started while I was putting diaper cream on) then we start peeing. At some point you just have to laugh. Poop and pee definitely don't bother me much anymore.


Despite the hard bits my life in infinitely better with him in it. He makes me smile, laugh and cry about 15 times a day. When I look at him I know what love is. He and his daddy are my heart. And now - for a few pictures.

My Birth Story

This is not necessarily the story I thought I would write, but it's an important one nonetheless.


I went into labor on Friday morning at about 4:30am.

I woke up with what felt like menstral cramps, but they would get very intense about every 6-8 minutes. At first, I wasn't sure it was labor. I'd had my membranes stripped the day before and had some cramping so I wasn't sure if this was part of that or the real deal. At 8:30 I called the doctors office and they told me to come in and get checked. We got there at about 9am and found out I was indeed in labor (2-3cm, 100% effaced). They told me to go walk until the contractions were so intense that I couldn't handle it, so we headed to the mall.

About 1:30 we headed to the hospital. At this point my contractions were closer together (3-4 minutes) and much more painful. We go checked in and they checked me - no change. So, they told us to walk around the hospital. We did that for a few hours. At about 6:30 when they checked me again there was no change. They recommended I go home and labor there for awhile (so that I could eat and be more comfortable) and then come back when I couldn't stand it. So...we left, went to Kerr Drug and filled my precriptions (Ambien and Tylenol), went by Bojangles and then went home. I took the Ambien and Tylenol and laid down and tried to sleep. Neigher of the drugs worked - but the breathing techniques did (Thanks Jackie!). At about 1:30 am the pain was bad enough I started to throw up so we went back to the hospital.

Unforutantely, a lot of what I experienced was also back labor, so even when the contractions were gone my back was in some pretty intense pain. Once we got there they checked me and I had progressed to 4cm. They gave me Stadaol to help me with the pain/sleep and I was able to sleep through the contractions for a few hours (however that stuff made me SO loopy!) At about 8 am they checked me and I had progressed to 5cm so they broke my water to help speed things up. I got my epidural at about 10:30am. They came back and checked me sometime later and I hadn't progressed at all so they decided to start pitocin to ramp up the contractions. They talked about a possible c-section if pitocin didn't work. They came back shortly and said that the pitocin had made the babies heart rate drop to 70 (which is low) so they were going to stop it. By this time I had progressed to 6cm and was running a little fever. I continued to labor, with no progression. We tried pitcocin one more time - with intense monitoring, but I still didn't get past 7cm. His heartrate was also all over the place, going high and then low, and I was still running a fever. The doctor came back and we again discussed c-section vs. continuing to labor. Because of his heartbeat, and my fever, and the fact it had been almost 40 hours of labor at this point, we decided to have a c-section.

The c-section was performed and he was born at 8:45pm on Saturday, October 29th. As soon as he was out they had to take him to the Special Care Nursery because of my fever and his heartrate issues. They wanted to make sure I didn't have an infection that was passed on to him. He spent 3 days in the Special Care Nursery. The first two were for IV antiobotics. The last was primarily due to blood sugar issues (it wasn't as high as they wanted - as a result I had/have to supplement with formula until my milk supply is enough for him).

The last part of the story is a little difficult. My grandmother had been very ill the last month or so. She was so excited about meeting and seeing her great-grandson. Unfortunatly, she didn't get to meet him, but was able to see pictures of him right after he was born. Mom said she had a big smile on her face, and knew she was a great-grandma again. I found out at 1:20 on Tuesday that she had passed away. We took him home that night at 6:30pm. I am so grateful she had a chance to see the pictures. All this to say this was not the way I thought that Brantley would get here, but in the end it doesn't matter, because he is now here, home with us, and changing our world with every silly face, cry, and diaper change. This is one very loved kid.

I'll write more later about the first night (oh man I was not prepared at all for that!) and how we're goin now. Until then... enjoy some pictures.

Dear Brantley...

Dear Brantley,

While I am so glad to know you are healthy and doing well (the constant kicks, jabs and wiggles certainly let me know that), your mommy is getting tired. And I promise you that this world will give you much, much more room than there is left in my belly. There's also LOTS of people who are ready to meet you, grandmas (3!), grandpas (3!), aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and most importantly your GREAT grandma who is hanging around just to meet you for the first time. All this to say, we'd all love it if you'd start making your way toward the outside world soon because the anxiety is getting to be quite a bit much.

We love you,

Mommy and Daddy

38 weeks

So tomorrow I will be 38 weeks.

I haven't had a cervical check yet, but I have lost my plug (for those that know what that is great, for those that don't you probably don't want to know). The good thing is that means that supposedly there is some progress going on down there. I haven't had any Braxton Hicks contractions that I can really tell, and no real contractions at all. Plus everytime I think he's dropped, the bobs back to right under my ribs (and it's always his butt). However, there is immense pressure in my lower abdomen, back pain that sometimes makes me want to do nothing but lie down, and a generally crampiness that varies from dull to really strong. All this to say as much as I am ready for him, it seems to me like he's going to stay put for a little while longer.

This last week has been really tough for me. I think it is a combination of now being full term and knowing that if he wanted to come now all would be ok and everyone else I know having babies! I am so excited for them, but it makes me so anxious for mine. I'm really ready to start our life with our son. I want to hold him and love on him so bad I can taste it. That coupled with the back/hip pain, cramps, insomnia and anxiety is making me incredibly impatient. To combat the impatience I thought I would write a list of the things I would actually MISS about being pregnant... then maybe I can focus on enjoying my last few weeks of those things.

1) Feeling him move all.the.time. I love the flips, wiggles, kicks, and flutters I still feel on a daily basis. It's reassurance that he is ok. I'll miss feeling him all the time.
2) Being able to eat what I want, when I want it, with no one looking at me like I'm crazy. Three desserts today... no problem because I'm pregnant. Three desserts today when not pregnant = people thinking your nuts.
3) People always giving your their seat because you are pregnant and no one wants to be the one that makes the pregnant chick stand.
4) Not having to tote the laundry up and down the stairs.
5) The whoosh whoosh sound of his heartbeat that I get to hear at every appointment.
6) My bump (even as little as it is) and knowing I'm GROWING something inside of it.
7) The anticipation of something really exciting about to happen.
8) The excuse for being lazy/not feeling like cleaning/etc.
9) Watching my belly move from side to side to side.
10) Alone time and alone time with my husband.

So.. I'm going to TRY and focus on these things in the coming week. As the saying goes...

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change..."

36 weeks!

I will be 36 weeks tomorrow. It's so hard to beleive that it's almost coming to an end - and then he'll acutally be here. And I can hold him and love on him. I am so excited and ready to meet my son.

At my 34 week visit I had a growth scan due to my low weight gain. He's right on track to weigh over 8lbs at birth. He was 5lbs 4ozs at that appointment, so he's a good growing little boy. It was so reassuring to see that everything was ok. Anyone that knows me knows I worry ALL THE TIME about everything, so I was extrememly glad that I was able to find out he was ok.

The nursery is DONE with the exception of hanging some photos and such on the wall. I am so glad to have this project finally finished. I feel like we're actually READY for him now, as opposed to stressed it wouldn't be done in time.

I've been having a hard time personally with other things lately, so it's nice that he is a bright spot when other times things don't look so bright.

4 more weeks (give or take!) and I'll be a mommy. Wow.

Dear Brantley...

Dear Brantley,

I was driving home today and starting thinking about your daddy and I. I started thinking about the last six years and all the good and bad times we've had. We've had some good times - camping trips, froggy bottoms, late night talks and cuddles, and countless laughs - but we've also had some bad - fights and arguments made those ranks. However, all of it lead us to where we are now, and so I am thankful for every minute I have spent with your daddy. I used to pray for your dad - and then God sent him to me.

Almost two years ago I stood in front of God, family and friends and promised to love your dad until I pass from this earth. I have never once regretted those words. Your dad still makes my heart swell with love when I look at him. His hugs have an innate way of making all the wrongs in my world ok. I love him more now then I ever imagined possible. Each night I go to bed I thank the lord for giving me your father, and I thank him for giving me you as well. You are truly the best thing I have ever done in my life. You are a piece of me and a piece of your dad.

When I think about you I start to wonder about how you'll look and who you'll be like. Will you have your dads smile that makes my heart melt? Will your eyes shine like his when you're up to something? Will you be calm and easy going like him, or a nervous nelly like me? Will you love people or numbers? Will you lead with your heart like me or with your head like your dad? I can't wait to see you grow up (but not TOO fast) and to watch you become the good man I know you'll be. I can't wait to be apart of your life stories, and to one day be able to hear your own love story.

All of this was to say you are a result of two very different people who met, and fell in love. You are a result of some very strong, true, honest love. I wanted you to know that and to know that you will be one very loved, wanted and cared after child.

I can't wait to meet you,


Mommy

Almost in the home stretch...

So.. tomorrow I'll be 26 weeks. Hard to beleive how quickly this is passing, although I have a feeling the last trimester will drag out. I'm so excited for Brantley to get here and be a part of our lives, but we have SO MUCH to do before he makes his entrance into the world.

Our home is about to be complete and utter chaos for the next month or so. We are putting hardwood floors in the back half of the house, including the nursery and the bedrooms. Therefore we have to move ourselves into two rooms of the house. It's going to be cramped and difficult, but the end product will be awesome, and Brantley will have a brand new room. I've also been working on removing the wallpaper from his room so he won't have girlie flowered wallpaper. This is a TASK. It has made me realize I will NEVER put wallpaper in my home. So - if you see me and I appear irrititable in the next month, realize it's a combination of living in my living room and kitchen and pregnancy hormones. =)

We went to the beach for July 4th - which was great fun. I got to spend a lot of time with Jack, who is now almost 10 months - he is getting SO BIG. It's cool to watch him grow and I know him and Brant will be awesome cousins.

On my pregnancy stats and update... I'm going good right now. I pretty much feel like I did Pre-Pregnancy. So far I've only gained about 5 lbs, but the doctors aren't concenred. He's moving pretty regular right now - especially at night when I'm trying to SLEEP. The nauseau is all but gone, and the heartburn is minor right now so I am doing fairly well. I'm sure as I get bigger things will be more difficult, but the last month or so has been relatively easy compared to the first 4 or so.

My biggest thing now is trying to find daycare. I've been procrastinating on that, and it's something I really need to start working on. August is going to go so quickly I think. We have the house to work on, plus two baby showers. One on the 13th for moms side of the family and a family/friends shower with my step mom on the 27th. I also have various friends showers to attend so the next few weekends are going to be CRAZY.

Well... I'm headed to go figure out where the world we are going to place furniture while we rip up carpet. Hope everyone is happy and well!

Changes are a happening..

So in terms of pregnancy symptoms, not much has changed. I've kinda hit a stride and just been rolling along. However, in terms of baby and movement/growth etc a lot has changed.

While I still have only gained about 2 lbs I am LOOKING pregnant finally, which is nice. And I feel baby Royster kick ALL THE TIME. This is one active little guy. He's all over the place. I've even felt him from the outside, but Preston still hasn't. Everytime he puts his hand there he'll stop moving. How frusterating.

The coolest thing happened last night - but of course P was at work and wasn't here to witness it. I was laying in the recliner and he started to kick. All of a sudden I look down - and my stomach is jumping. Like really moving. And he kicked again and my stomach jumped. So I can now SEE him kick when he's really active, which is both the coolest and weirdest thing ever.

Oh and we *think* we have a name. Brantley James Royster. Unique and different and apparently something we can agree on. I still can't get Preston 100% away from Waylon, but I'm about 95% sure this is my babies name.

Preston and I are off the the beach tomrorow... should be a fun fun week. Looking so forward to it.

Long Time No Post

Well.. I haven't kept this up really the way I oringinally intended. To be honest, at first it was becuase I was so sick I didn't want to feel winey about pregnancy.. I mean this is supposed to be the most exciting time of our lives. The truth is that this really hasn't been all that much fun up until now. For the first 12 weeks or so I was VERY sick. I was throwing up 6-7 times a day and not keeping much down. As a result I was tired, cranky and overall very ill with the pregnancy. Around week 13 things started getting better and by the time I hit the second trimester the nauseu has significantly decreased. Now, it's periodic and mostly not so intense I can't handle it like it was before.

I remember one night where I couldn't keep anything down and I felt so bad for Preston. He wanted to do something so bad and all I could do was cry I was so miserable. He however, couldnt do much about it. I imagine it sucks to feel that helpless.

Since then some exciting things have happened. I am now showing! I'll be 20 weeks on Monday which means I am *almost* halfway there. I did have some complications around week 17. I was having a lot of pelvic pain/pressure that I felt was abnormal and very uncomfortable. Turned out to be an infection. However, because of the pain I had an early ultrasound and we found out we are having a baby boy! Preston was super happy about that.

Then on May 31st we went to meet with the genetics counsleor because of out family histories and had the indepth ultrasound. According them everything looks good - he's just a little big. They said not to worry about that though because he may just have hit a growth spurt early. I have my next checkup this week.

We've now registered too, which was very overwhelming, but exciting at the same time. I'm also feeling him move now, and on a GOOD day you can feel him from the outside. I haven't been able to get Preston to feel it yet, but I am sure I will soon.

Overall I am feeling better although there are certainly still effects of pregnancy I'm not used to (the gas, the sleeplessness, weird food aversions and combinations... mashed potatoes with ketchup come to mind). I'm getting more and more ready to see little man.

So pictures below to enjoy!

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

This blog is probably going to sound winy.

I've been so sick. I can't keep anything down and am throwing up 4-5 times a day. It's a pretty miserable feeling, but I know it's because Little Bit is doing what he is supposed to do. That doesn't mean it isn't hard and wearing to be constantly throwing up. Not to mention how weak and unenergetic I feel. I am so sick of being sick and tired. I knew it would be like this, but I don't think I could have imagined it.

I am 7 weeks on Monday, and on the 23rd we get to go hear the heartbeat for the first time. I am so excited about that, and I am hoping it is healthy and is good shape. Hopefully they'll also give me some meds to help take the edge of the nausea. I know Phenegran will work, but it knocks me out, so I am going to try the Zofran. Maybe do phenegran on the weekends. We shall see.

I can't beleive that in 7 1/2 months I will be a mother. I am so excited for it.

Good News

We are PREGNANT.

This is such an amazing thing to be able to announce. We found out we were pregnant on February 19th. I had actually had a really bad week and wanted a glass of wine, but knew we'd been trying. I wasn't due for my period until Monday, but decided to go ahead and take the test. Honestly, I didn't think I was pregnant. I took the test - and FORGOT about it. When I went back to the bathroom about an hour later I saw the test - and it was positive (for the record - I did NOT have the glass of wine). I flipped out. We hadn't been trying but a month really and I got pregnant right off the bat. Preston and I am both so excited. I can't wait to be a mom, and he will be an awesome dad.

Since then I've realized EVERYONE is pregnant, but I'm the newbie. This is awesome for me cause I'm getting all kinds of advice from the other girls I know. It'll be great to be able to share that with my pregnant lady friends.

This pregnancy was going fairly well until Thursday of last week. It's like I hit the 6 week mark and BAM here comes morning sickness full force. So now I'm having a difficult time. I can't keep much of anything down and I am CONSTANTLY nauseated. I knew this was going to be the case though - my body DOES NOT handle hormones well at all. However, at least I know everything much still be working.

We couldn't wait to tell people so that whole world now knows I am preggers. It's my hope that all goes well with Little Bit. I am so ready to be his mom. I can't begin to share the excitement with you all.

I will update often!